Feb: Friendship Takes Time

Beloved community,

Somebody outbid me on one of the items I wanted at the auction.

In related news, our auction was (once again) a resounding success! We raised over 30% more than we had hoped for, and our auction income is already a sizeable portion of our annual fundraising. The money raised from this event helps ensure the stability of our operating budget.

In other words, it’s a good thing that somebody outbid me on one of the items I wanted at the auction.

With so many wonderful events and activities offered, it can feel disappointing when the bidding goes up and up. For many people, auction dinners are the core of their social calendar. Missing out an event you hoped for can feel like missing out on all the fun.

But at the end of the day, the auction is a fundraising event, a critical part of Chalice’s financial stability. I’m grateful when the bidding goes up and up. I’m glad to be outbid. Chalice needs the generous financial support of our members, friends, and visitors.

And the good news is, you don’t need to attend an auction dinner to have a robust social life. You can invite someone over to your house for fun anytime. Order a pizza and rent a movie. Pack a picnic lunch and head to the park. Invite someone to join you at the beach, or the zoo, or the coffee shop. It doesn’t need to be elaborate.

Look, I know it’s hard to make new friends: I don’t drink alcohol, eat sugar, or go out on Friday or Saturday nights. It’s a wonder I have any friends at all! But you’ll never make a new friend if you don’t take the risk of reaching out.

Remember too, friendships take time to grow. One outing will not give rise to a deep and abiding connection. It takes time and a bit of commitment.

I have standing appointments with my closest friends. I have lunch once a month with my closest girlfriend (you understand by “lunch” I mean 30 minutes of lunch and three hours of talking and drinking iced tea). I have a phone call every two weeks with a dear colleague in another district. I email my exercise buddy (another clergy colleague) every day, ostensibly to check in about self-care, but just as often to check in about life in general.

None of these relationships developed quickly. In each instance, one of us took the risk of reaching out to the other, had the courage to say “you want to go to lunch?” or “can I call you to talk?” or “I think I need to check in every day” for the first time.

So have courage. Friendship is worth the risk.

Bright blessings, Sharon